The Picture and Other
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My brain must furnish various features new: WhatÕs delicate and smart produce to view; By this expressed, and not by tÕother said: And all so clear, most easy to be read, By evÕry fool, without the aid of notes, That idiotÕs bad indeed who never quotes.
CATULLUS tells us, evÕry matron sage Will peep most willingly (whateÕer her age), At that gigantick gift, which Juno made, To VenusÕ fruit, in gardens oft displayed.
If any belle recede, and shun the sight, Dissimulation she supposes right.
THIS principle allowed, why scruples make?
Why, less than eyes, should ears a license take?
But since Ôtis so resolved IÕll do my best, And naught in open terms shall be expressed: A veil shall over evÕry charm be cast, Of gauze indeed, and this from first to last, So nicely done, that howsoever tost, To none I trust will any thing be lost.
Who nicely thinks, and speaks with graceful ease; Can current make just whatsoeÕer he please; For all will pass, as I have often known: The word well chosen, pardon soon is shown, The sex oÕerlook the thing no more the same, The thought remains, but Ôtis without a name; No blush is raised; no difficulty found; Yet evÕry body understands around.
AT present, much I need this useful art: Why? you will ask; because, when I impart Such wondrous circumstances, evÕry belle, Without reserve, will con them over well.
To this I answer: female ears are chaste, Though roguish are their eyes, as well as taste.
BE that as Ôtwill, I certainly should like, With freedom to explain, by terms oblique, To belles, how this was broken:Ñthat was down: Assist me pray, ye NINE of high renown; But you are maids, and strangers, we agree, To LOVEÕS soft scenes, not knowing A from B.
Remain then, Muses, never stir an inch, But beg the god of verse, when at a pinch, To help me out and kind assistance lend, To choose expressions which will not offend, Lest I some silly things should chance to say, That might displeasure raise, and spoil my lay.
Enough, howeÕer, weÕve on the subject said: ÔTis time we tÕwards the painting should be led, Which an adventure you will find contains, That happened once in CupidÕs famed domains.
IN former days, just by Cythera town A monastery was, of some renown, With nuns the queens of beauty filled the place, And gay gallants you easily might trace.
The courtier, citizen, and parson too, The doctor and the bachelor youÕd view, With eager steps:Ñall visits thither made; And Ômong the latter, one (a pleasing blade) Had free access: was thought a prudent friend, Who might to sisters many comforts lend; Was always closely shaved and nicely dressed; And evÕry thing he said was well expressed; The breath of scandal, howsoever pat, NeÕer lighted on his neat cravat nor hat.
