LOST SOULS: essays

I couldn't find myself.

... by a long, long time.

I was trying to find something ... which could help me heal my soul ... but most certainly it was not going to be an easy process.

I needed ... therapy.

But ... of course ... i could not accept something like that.

I was already writing by few years.

... doing it as self therapy.

And ... still .... I was feeling i needed more than that.

I didn't knew what ... but i knew that the right experience will be revealed to me.

Sooner or later.

But ... one day ... i've heard that the war started.

Lots of refugees ... were coming to my country.

... and my city.

I don't know ... what really convinced me to do it ... but i jump into the car ... go to the bus station where the refugees were coming ... and i meet with a lady with 3 kids.

I smile ... and convince her to come at me ... with her 3 kids.

A lady .... policewoman ... came to me asking lots of questions.

... finding it weird ... that i take this lady with me.

But ... into the end ... i help her with the baggages ... and we drive to the first house which i prepared for this new story of my life.

In those moments ... i didn't realised what was going to happen to me.

... especially into the near future.

Fortunately ... a weird inner force was guiding me ... into the whole process.

So ... a lost soul ... was inviting lost souls ... to his home.

That was only the start.

Later on ... new and new refugees were coming to me.

I was just going to the train station ... and connecting with the volunteers ... i was immediately taking another 3-4-5 people to my home.

In the night ... before going to sleep ... meditating ... the same question appeared into my mind ... "How the hell ... you Adrian ... are inviting those refugees to your homes?!

You're the most weird soul ... i've ever saw during this life time... and now you try to be a saviour ... for all those people ... which were running away of war?!"

But ... i was smiling.

I've already accepted my status ... of lost soul.

I was not denying it anymore.

I found it ... normal to accept it.

And .... of course same as people addicted to drugs stay together, or the people addicted to alcohol prefers the alcoholics ... a lost soul ... as myself ... had to experience life ... in the company of other lost souls.

But ... it was all karmic.

Yes ... karmic experiences.

For me ... and for all the ones that were visiting me.

I guess ... all was normal.

I was attracting ... souls as myself.

All being ... my weird reflections.

So ... a new chapter of my life started.

A ... weird one.

But ... extremely interesting.

Revealing in fact ... that being lost ... was actually ... an unexplainable addiction ... having probably the purpose to reveal me ... while connecting with all those people following pathless path ... the secrets beyond the human being.

And ... it all proved to be a story with many chapters ... and also many, many episodes.

... whispering me ... abstract messages.

In continuous form.