I write everything down on paper ... and ...
Few days later, i read and i laugh of all my thoughts and feelings.
And ... i write something different.
Is like everything had changed.
Totally.
Most probably ... that is happening again and again.
Yeah ... now ... i say something.
Tomorrow ... something different.
Then ... the day after tomorrow something totally different.
Looking and actually acting like a person with serious problems of personality or even with ... mental problems.
All being so damn illusory.
And ...
The show goes on.
I keep writing.
Mainly about duality.
Trying to understand ... and fix it ... so that i can have an amazing experience ... in continuous form.
Chasing for something which is certainly ... an illusion.
But ... still doing it.
So ... i write about all the nonsenses from my heart and my mind ... defining all in micro details ... but ...
Somehow ... it's all a pathetic show, but i continue writing.
A poetry about the nonsense from my soul, but knowing that this is actually ... the truth about many, many others.
A dance of illusory thoughts.
Contradictory thoughts.
So dominant ... that overwhelms me ... believing all is actually real.
When in fact ...
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.