So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

· Chicago Review Press
3.3
47 reviews
Ebook
224
Pages
Eligible
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About this ebook

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It's difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it's you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            What's a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You're a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You'll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.

            This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.

Ratings and reviews

3.3
47 reviews
Robyn “Shy Dolphin Lady” Waters
May 20, 2022
My Undead sister and I both vouch for this book's awesomeness! She found the hunting tips mighty useful. This guy thought of everything! I, well, maybe, possibly, perhaps, wanted, kinda sorta, to join her. I needed to know what to expect. Thank you! As for everyone else, I dare you to read this. Go on ... Do it!
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PassTheKenchup
January 20, 2015
Really a book for zombie s I thought a zombie apocalypse for games like really a fake zombie T_T
2 people found this review helpful
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A Google user
January 23, 2012
Won't download, says "Can't retrieve part of the book from server." When I try to read. Please fix.
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About the author

John Austin is the author of Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction, and Prank University. He lives in Cincinnati, Ohio.

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