Quantum of Tweed: The Man with the Nissan Micra

Albert Rossi has many qualities. He’s a man who can spot polyester at a hundred paces. He’s the person you’d have on speed dial were you to find yourself at the centre of a tailoring emergency. He has an excellent working knowledge of Bonnie Tyler’s back catalogue. These skills are essential to a Gentleman’s Outfitter from Eastcote. They are not necessarily on the job description for recruiting an assassin.

When Albert hits an unsuspecting pedestrian whilst listening to ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ in his Nissan Micra he is amazed to escape the inevitable knock on the door from the police. Instead he receives a mysterious phone call from a man who sounds surprisingly like Stephen Hawking telling him that his money will be left in the ‘usual’ place. At that very moment, Albert Rossi decides to change careers.

Albert Rossi’s life is about to get a whole lot more interesting...