'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...'
Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpernโs philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is โlike Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hairโ; and this is the sort of shit he says...
โYou know, sometimes itโs nice having you around. But now ainโt one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, weโre not watching this bullshit.โ
โHappy Birthday, I didnโt get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, thatโs from me then, too โ unless itโs shitty.โ
โYour brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldnโt stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.โ
โThe worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.โ
โWhy the f**k would I want to live to 100? Iโm 73 and shitโs starting to get boring. By the way, thereโs no money left when I go, just fyi.โ
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