This Is What It Feels Like

This is What It Feels Like is a beautiful story about lasting friendship, fighting the odds, and a deep love for music. For these three girls, music is a thing they share so deeply that it is entwined in their soul, and what brings them back together after being fractured from a fallout two years ago. For each of them, coming this far has been a challenge – whether it is to raise a kid while still in school, realize what they want out of love, or find a voice for themselves. The novel begins at their high school graduation, and looking into a summer filled with work and hopes. Each of the girls have their own journey, but Hanna’s feels like a major developmental arc in the book, for herself and for her relationships with her best friends. This was because it was her alcoholism that broke their group, and she has been making amends to her family ever since. Meanwhile, Dia, who has raised her kid after her sorta-boyfriend died, is finally feeling comfortable in her role as a mother, and looking forward to a future in music, and conflicted about taking a chance on getting into a relationship; she has control issues and a superstitious fear about her loved ones. Jules, a romantic, whose first and only relationship ended due to incompatibility, is falling for Autumn, the new girl at her store, and struggling with how to proceed in their relationship. And central to this all, is the fact that the three of them are getting back together for a big band competition, which means they have to get along and work together. The story carefully develops these characters, giving each enough focus to concentrate on their interpersonal relationships, as well as what they feel about music and their bond with another. The significance of their music comes across so well in how their practice sessions are described, making you almost feel the energy of that space. Some of their parents don’t think them getting back together is a good idea, considering everything that happened, but their music is the one thing untainted by that time. Also, it calls to that bond that girls share, where anything seems possible, where you can depend on each other, and yes, even hurt each other very badly. I could go on and on about how wonderfully their relationship was rendered, in all the good and bad parts. Also, I loved that their friendships didn’t overshadow their sibling relationships or family dynamics; Molly was such a good example of that. The only parts I didn’t like were Elliot’s POV chapters, because I didn’t feel they served anything to the plot; at the most, it just reinforced the magic of their music and friendship at that time, but (a) that already seems magical enough in the present, and (b) I would have much preferred the flashback parts to come from one of the girls instead. Also, the individual romances were sweet, and both the love interests adorable, but it didn’t have much in the way of development. Which, to be fair, wasn’t the focus anyway as this book was about the girls getting back together. Overall, a beautiful story about friendships, about loving your passions and deciding what you want from life.

A wonderful story with a very diverse cast which follows three girls who were once friends as they reconnect through music. I loved how this book talked about recovery - from the death of a loved one, from alcoholism, from a toxic relationship - and also how it talked about teen pregnancy and teenagers having sex without sounding like a cautionary tale. Also, the romance was really cute.