Rainbow Lung-Cure

From: Tanzaniel Purplemane, CEO, Magical Pharmaceuticals, Inc.

To: All Stable Managers, Unicorn Division

Re: Suggestions to combat dropping droppings production

Summary

Our unicorn herd is the largest in existence, and we have a duty to provide our customers with the products they need. In recent months, production of both the Rainbow Lung-Cure(TM), which has been shown to cure all lung ailments, including lung cancer and COPD, has dropped to less than half of quota, while the production of Hair-Grow Apples(TM), which can cause even the baldest of heads to sprout new hair, has been well over quota, indicating that the unicorns are eating enough but aren't producing enough gas.

Suspecting a dietary culprit, we undertook a study of means by which gas production could be increased. Our findings are detailed below, along with instructions for implementation.